Dear Warthogs of Malalane Gate

Dear Warthogs of Malalane Gate – We need to talk…

I don’t think we have been formally introduced yet. My name is Linda and I live in the yellow house at Malalane gate with my family. I am sure you know who we are because you always come and show us your new piglets when they are born. Which we really appreciate. We always tell you how beautiful and cute they are. And our hearts go out to you and your family when we notice that one of the piglets is no longer with you.


So even though we have not formally met, we have peacefully co-existed in the place we call Malalane Gate’s staff village. Until a few weeks ago that is.


When I found you in our garden for the first time a while back, I though you had gotten in by mistake. The boys and I just came home from school and there you were with your family: last year’s piglets and also this seasons ones. I actually felt bad for you then. You got such a fright when we got out of the car! Alex, Jack and I carefully tried to usher you towards the gate that we opened wide without stressing you further. And once you finally find your way out, I thought that was going to be the end of it.


But I get the feeling now that the first time was not an accident at all. Because you have been coming in time and again after that. Mostly when no one is home. I get back from dropping the boys off at school or picking them up and then I see the gate standing slightly ajar. This is all good and well, but since you all started knocking over my chairs and my potplants, I have been increasingly unhappy with your breaking and entering.


The straw that broke the camel’s back is the fact that you have now all but destroyed my new Strelitzia. I was so chuffed when I found this big plant at the nursery at the N4 Turnoff! And every time it sprouted a new leaf, I got so very excited! But you have done so much damage I don’t know if it is going to survive.

Could you please tell me what it is in our garden that is so attractive to you? Is it the Marula fruit? It must be something fantastic because you are now even coming in when we are all home. I saw how you are doing it just now. You put your nose under our already flimsy gate (I already spoke to the elephants of Malalane Section about that), lift it and push it open! All while you are looking at me! The cheek! At this stage, you are even worse than the elephants!! I am very concerned that your actions will finish off our already damaged gate.


You have the WHOLE of the Kruger National Park. All 2 million hectares of them. Can I just have my fenced off little piece? Please?


Thank you.


Kind regards,

Linda Oosthuizen

Malalane Gate



I have written three more letters to our animal neighbours: Dear Elephants of Malalane Section: We need to talk! Dear Monkeys in our garden: We need to talk! And Dear Hyena’s of Wolhuter: We Need to Talk!

16 thoughts on “Dear Warthogs of Malalane Gate – We need to talk…

  1. Jammer oor julle skade hoop tog dat julle 4 voetige vriende meer respek sal toon ek dink aan julle stay save, magda

  2. Ai maar daai varkies raak nou baie stout en hans en al te mak. Hulle het natuurlik by die olifante gehoor hoe lekker julle tuin is.

    Baie dankie dat jy julle mooi wêreld met ons almal deel.

  3. ???
    A few years ago we helped herd some Warthogs out of Croc bridge gate, thinking we were doing them a favour. As we sat back down to resume our chips they came straight back in ??

    Lovely to hear a new tale ? After three long years we are booked to return in April ??

  4. They are very clever hogs and think you are very nice, kind humans. This is why they are coming to visit you.

  5. Hi Linda, At the bottom of your warthog letter I clicked the link to the hingeback tortoise blog to re read it.

    As soon as SA turned to a green for us in the UK last year, we booked a trip to Kruger Nov/Dec, but landed in Johannesburg the day you were put back to red, well that whole saga is another story. Chris at Rissington Inn Hazyview (1st night stop) suggested we go on into Kruger and enjoy our holiday and they’d help us sort out whatever needed sorting when we arrived back there before going or not to the airport to fly home. Back to the tortoise, we’ve never been to Kruger Nov/ Dec before so were thrilled with all the babies, impala and warthog, so cute. But we saw tortoises, loads, and saw for the first time the hingeback which I recognised because of that story about George/georgina and looking up what a hingeback was. Thanks for the Blog

  6. Maybe you need some really prickly plants around – especially your veggie garden. Sadly they take a long time to grow. I can’t imagine what the solution is but we so enjoy hearing what the creatures and you and your family get up to. So, keep on keeping on.

  7. So nice to hear from you again. I was in Kruger in 2018 for way too short a time. I booked 3, nights in different areas. I’d love to come again, especially to see the torteous as they are my “spirit animals”. It would be lovely to meet you as well. Thank you for your stories.

  8. This little piggy went went to market, this little piggy stayed at home, this little piggy had roast beef this little piggy had none and all these piggies all ran to Linda’s home to eat “lekker kos” and play with her garden toys …..

  9. Linda, no matter what happens at your place, you will always have a huge audience, enjoying every moment. That is what makes your followers, keep on coming back. I see one of the comments mention, Chris Harvey at Rissington Inn in Hazyview. What a place, atmosphere and service, from one and all, involved. When I was still actively involved in Tourism, that would be my and the guest’s overnight stop. Chris can also tell you many stories and yes they also get game on their property, with stories that go with these visits. Lekker week vir julle.

  10. Dalk moet jy ‘n “Sponser” kry om vir julle ‘n behoorlike sterk hek te installeer Linda? Sterkte met julle diere probleempies, maar ek is seker julle sal hierdie leefstyl vir niks anders verruil nie.

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